Would You Rather Be Impressive, Influential, or Impactful?

The words sound similar, but they’re not interchangeable. In fact, they’re radically different in depth, intent, and effect.

About a decade ago, an advisor told a funder, referring to me, “He’s impressive.”

At the time, those words were a strong cocktail of validation: sweet, intoxicating, and just the right hit for someone addicted to affirmation.

“Wow,” I thought. “I impressed them.”

I cringe at the memory today.

I’ve come to believe it wasn’t a compliment at all, at least not in the way I interpreted it. The comment was generous and genuine, yes, but “impressive” I’ve learned since is a nice way of saying, “Bless your heart. Thank you. I’m moving on.”

Lately, I’ve been sitting with a simple but interesting question for all of us:

What’s the difference between impressing someone, influencing someone, and impacting someone?

At first glance, the words sound similar. Each seems to describe a change or reaction you’ve caused in another person. But they’re not interchangeable. In fact, they’re radically different in depth, intent, and effect.

First, if you impress someone.

The weakest of all three. To impress someone is to create a momentary emotional reaction. A spark. A wow. A first impression, clever or winsome or off-putting. It’s temporary and trivial, surface-level.

It’s about how you’re perceived, not who you are. It’s often a performance like a curated résumé, a confident walk through a crowded ballroom of peers, a polished Instagram post.

And like a cheap spray tan, the effect fades fast. Impressing opens a door, sure. But it rarely keeps it open.

Influencing someone, however, goes deeper. It carries directional energy.

When you influence someone, you’re not just admired … you’re shaping their thoughts, decisions, behaviors. You're offering more than a moment … you’re offering a way.

But influence isn’t always flashy. It’s subtle. Slow. A trusted voice recommending a book. A mentor reframing your assumptions. A friend who keeps showing up even when you think you don’t deserve it.

Influence doesn’t require platform or position. In fact, the most influential people often go unnoticed. You don’t always know when you have it. You don’t always know when you’ve lost it.

That’s because influence isn’t built on popularity. It’s built on trust. And trust takes time and consistency.

Then there’s impacting someone. That hits the deepest.

To impact someone is to leave a mark. You’re not just part of their day; you’re now part of their story.

Impact changes direction. You’re now part of their before and after. It’s rarely loud. It’s not always welcome. But it lasts.

A coach who challenged you.
A film that changed the way you see the world.
A hard conversation that shifted your thinking.

Impact is transformation. Not just inspiration. It’s legacy.

Someone once said it this way:

Impressing is about you.

Influencing is about you and others.

Impacting is about others.

But here’s the twist: you don’t have to choose just one. The best leaders, artists, and entrepreneurs do all three.

They impress to capture attention.
They influence to build consistency, trust, and presence. To earn the chance to change something or someone.
And they impact by telling the truth, going deeper, and staying long after the applause fades.

Ok, so what? Why should we know the difference between each?

Because if all we are chasing is attention, we will settle for being impressive.
If we care about people, we will pursue influence.
But if we want to be part of something that outlasts us, we will aim for impact.

I’ve told this story before. My artist friend, Andy Zipf, told me that he plays the same on stage whether the crowd is five or five hundred.

He’s not trying to impress.
He’s not performing to gain followers.
He shows up to influence, hoping his lyrics and stories shape someone’s life for the better. And maybe, once he’s EARNED their trust, his songs might impact someone forever.

That’s what I’ve learned from Andy and so many other creators like him: the people who leave the deepest mark rarely set out to do so. They just keep showing up. Staying true. Seeing beyond the moment, breaking the surface, cracking the varnish, and shifting the focus from self to others.